How we became "Jen & Ken" Part 7

May 29th, 2007

Saturday, I am trying to remember. Clearly I was at Jeanine's at some point since their is an entry from here. Oh yeah! I remember. He works until late so I slept in and wet to Jeanine's to babysit while they went to see Pirates. I'm trying to think if Ken came over that morning. It sounds likely. Ok, I for sure saw him but what did we do? Oh yeah! I ran a whole mile without stopping then stopped by his place. He invited me to go to lunch with him so I went to change. While doing that I called Mindy, who had been trying to call me all week with my old number. Must have been sisters ESP. I told her all about him and she was so happy for me and we had a good chat. Plus Gracie smiled when I talked to her on the phone. She missed her aunt Jen. Wow, Aunt Jen. That sounds wicked weird. Cool though. So I finished the conversation in the car on the way to Wendy's and then we had lunch. I had a frosty and spilled some on my shirt. I am such a klutz around him. ha ha. We held hands and talked and joked about how we make everyone around us sick, but we are happy. I said goodbye to him out of the car and apparently his roommates saw and teased him when he got inside. Then I finished "Take the Lead" which I had started 2 weeks ago ( I have been busy) and danced around before going to Jeanine's. I stopped by the movie theater for her to decide to not have me buy tickets for them, then watched the kids. Kourtney was being difficult and none of them would go to sleep, but it was ok.When they got back I folded my laundry and took off. I was back before Ken was off of work. Andrew came over and hung my curtain rod and I put my curtains up. they look so pretty! Also I had hung my pictures earlier that day so my room is finally looking complete. Anyways, he came over after work and had to finish the ward menu that night. I had some more stuff to do in my room so he just brought his lap top on my floor to work on it. I sat down next to him and he went through old mission e-mails as I went through old notebooks and we shared our lives with each other. I found some of Mike's old journal entries, my dating stories I had written, scenes Megs and I wrote and such. He noticed we have the same humor in writing with delivery, timing, and implied humor of lines. He also showed me a scene he wrote with Katie and mission e-mails he had written to his sisters and old companion. It was another cool moment. My "chill" playlist was on and we were just sprawled out on my floor listening to Jack Jonhson and sharing memories. I just remember thinking that I was really enjoying just being with him and wanted to freeze that moment and remember it always. What better way than a journal? So, remember that Jen. Ha ha. It's amazing how much I can do with him. It reminds me of a line on a Winnie the Pooh movie (which by the way, we were both nicknamed pooh bear as children). Pooh tells piglet "I know I can do anything with you Piglet, but only Christopher Robin and I can do nothing together." That is how I feel about Ken. I love doing things with him. There is so much we want to do together and I am so excited to do those things and take comfort in the thought of all that time to spend with him, but probably my favorite thing to do with him is nothing. To just sit together be it in a hammock, couch, floor, grass, car...doesn't matter where. Just to hold each other and talk. Even when we are both doing our own thing I like knowing he is in the room, or in the same apartment. It doesn't matter, just so long as he is near. "Every moment you are near me, i do not mourn what may become my fate for all that really seems to matter, is that you are here with me." Anyways, it was a highly enjoyable evening.


5-30-07
I really do like him more all the time. Sometimes it is hard to keep myself from saying I love you. I want to be more sure, this has been so soon, but I know I was no where near ready to say that at first and was scared when I thought he might say it too early, but to tell the truth in the way a journal allows, whenever he is ready to say it, I think I am ready to say it back with all my heart. How did this happen!? A few weeks ago I didn't think I would get married until I was 23 and graduated. I am not saying I know I am going to marry Ken. We still have a lot to learn about each other, but I am excited to take that journey with him. You just never know what is going to happen. That is one lesson I have definatly learned by now, but if things continue the way they are it would be difficult to avoid being with him forever. Oh boy, that is scary to say. It's all speculation anyways I'm just going to quit right now while I am behind and enjoy the moments I am living in now, whatever they may bring. ...He said he couldn't leave me if he tried because everyday he found something else he didn't want to be without.

June-7-07
Oh duh! Something kind of important happened! Thursday morning I had been freaking out just a little bit and I told Ken that as we were cuddling that morning. I told him logic was on his side and not to worry. I figured it was giving me a clear head to like him for more reasons and reality was sinking in. He said he could give me lots of reasons, and I didn't need them but asked for them anyways, and somewhere in the middle of what he was saying I couldn't help but think how much I loved him. I buried my head in his chest and he asked what was on my mind and I said I'd tell him later. That rarley works with us. He proded and the whole time I kept singing in my head "I think I love you so what am I so afraid of." Finally I admitted that is was hard not to say "I love you" sometimes. He said he had suspected as much. He said he wanted to wait for a better moment to say it, but that he loved me too and it had been hard for him to hold back as well.  So, that doesn't suck. :)

...He is increadibly forgiving and understanding of people. He does not talk bad about people and I love that about him. He makes me want to be better, he really does. I am so much kinder just having him in my life. Not that I wasn't before, but he is a great example to me. It is hard to imagine myself with anyone else. I may be attracted to people, but the chances of finding what I have with Ken anywhere else are slim to none. I just feel so lucky and blesseed every day that I am with him and can't imagine my life without him. I know I lived it just fine, but now that he is in it everything is better. He stayed over till very late or very early depending on your view of it...

9-11-07
...Today he came over late for class and we had breakfast. Then he went for another nap before school, but wound up missing class. We had fun together and then I cleaned my apartment as Grandma and Grandpa Van were coming. Grandma saw my apartment, then we all went to Mimi's Cafe for lunch. It was really good and we had a blast with my cute grandparents. As we were turning into Mimi's grandpa said "your turning the wrong way, David's Bridal is that way." Oh boy. we laughed. Then I took them to Borders to see mom's book. Grandma told the clerk about it as she bought two copies and he gave me a number to call about arranging a book sighning! Cool! Grandma gave me one of the copies she had purchased to give to Ken. Before they left grandpa told Ken and I that we made a good team and he told Ken how speacil I am. Awww. Then he took a nap while I read the ensighn and relief socity lesson manual. I learned some great things about teaching and prayer. As I was feeling the spirit reading I looked at Ken sleeping in my lap and was just overwhelmed with love for him. Seriously, I love him so much. I have said it a million times, but I'll keep saying it. He was so adorable laying there and I just felt so glad to have him with me. There are not words....