Princess & Angel

Ken & I started moving Saturday so half of our stuff was at the house, and we were left in our aparment with little more than our mattress of the floor. Sunday (last night) we were snuggled up under a fuzzy blanket and it started to rain. The whole moment was just so perfect. Ken had, in his silly way, started to tell me a story about a beautiful blonde princess who lived in an apartment.

 I asked why she lived in an apartment if she was a princess and he said her heart was so big and pure that everything she loved was made grand and wonderful. So, the apartment was transformed when she was there into a place that was safe, warm, and peaceful. I asked if there was a prince and he said there was just a guy. I asked about the guy and he said he was just plain and ugly. I asked why the princess was with the guy than, and he said that again, her heart transformed him into something that was better.

We were being silly and playing a game, but the sentiment he expressed in his story is so touching and beautiful that it's hard not to cry when I think about it. I know that Ken wasn't just saying empty words. He really feels that way. He believes that my love transforms him, and our home into something wonderful. It is one of the most beautiful things he has ever said to me, and he compliments me all the time.

It fullfills a long time wish of mine. Even when I was a kid I always wanted to have a family, and a husband with lots of love between us. I wanted to be seen for whom I really felt I was inside. Despite my many faults, I know that I am a good person in my heart. I want to be kind and loving all the time. I don't always suceed. Sometimes I am selfish and bratty, but I hoped that I would someday have a family that saw me as an angel.

 I had heard of this before. In songs and church I had heard kids and men saying their mother and wife was truly an angel. Heavens knows that's how I see my mother. I wanted a man to look at me and see what was in my heart and look past everything else. I felt like my immediate family didn't know that side of me. They saw the brat in me and so I became even worse around them. This has been healed, but that is how I felt growing up. Only mom and Josh saw the real me, and in turn I was only that kind to them. Still, I hoped that someday I could set this good person inside of me free and love a family so much that they thought I was an angel on earth. I think what Ken said last night, and many things he has said in the past, have fulfilled that dream. I am so blessed to have him. He sees me as having such a good heart that I make our little world a better place. I turn a regular guy and an apartment into a fairytale.